First Day of (No) School

SCAD started school today. Kinda surreal. Volunteered at a SCAD orientation event last night where different churches get together to let the kids know who they are, where they are, and how they can fit in at their churches. Seeing all those students made me happy and sad at the same time.

Sad because I've been chasing this false reality (for me, anyway). My freshman year of college there were TONS of things I could've done. There was a teenage mutant ninja turtle party, GYRAD to get to know your brother floor better, mission trips to serve in Mexico every two weeks. I could've gotten involved and for me that was what college was all about, getting involved and LIVING. But I was too busy talking to JT every chance I got to do any of those things. Then I transferred to OSU where student life consists mainly of fraternity life or activities related to/sponsored by greek living. I've been wanting to go back to school, not for the education, but for the involvement I never got to be a part of (mainly my fault). I'm sad that I missed out on that and as I will never be a traditional student again I can never achieve that ever. I probably will never have a career in the same sense that I wanted years ago either.

However, I'm extremely happy too. When I look back at the careers I was considering I don't think I would've done well in them. Too much late night drinks (aka "networking") would've been involved and I don't party. Too much cat-fighting to be the one that the boss notices and I hate fighting with women (the fields I was looking at were female dominated). I certainly don't think I would've grown in my faith much if I had followed that path. And if I blew off talking to JT to hang out with others so much we probably wouldn't have gotten married (considering our circumstances. This is NOT an endorsement for clingyness, stalking, or random exclamations of "HONEY BOOO! I MISSED YOOOOOU!" every time you see your loved one walk through the door).

So today is a well-needed goodbye to the college dream. Goodbye to the idea of college living. Goodbye to the ideals that horrible coming-of-age movies (that really do get worse every year) insist you should have when you attend college. Does this mean I will never get a degree? No idea. Maybe 10-15 years from now I'll decide that I really want to move up in my company and to do so I need a degree so I'll get one. Or maybe JT and I will look into missionary work that requires a seminary degree. I don't know. But I know I'm not getting a degree anytime soon.

Instead, today is hello to a new life. Hello to the possibility of children as I go to the doctor this week to make sure I've got the green light to start trying (and, unfortunately, probably get a shot or two). Hello to accepting where I'm at in life and making the most of it. Hello to the work being done at church that I get to be a part of. To a new fur baby on the way (assuming we can find one...this apartment's restrictions on dogs are more stringent than most apartments back in Corvallis!). To hopefully getting a job at the coffee shop. To exploring for the sake of having family time instead of adventure time. Yes, this is going to be a good season in life.

This week, JT and I will be finishing up the main room at the church. We'll be looking for a dog...which for him isn't going so well. All the dogs that he has considered that meet the weight restriction are NOT apartment dogs. We might make dinner for a student, if she takes up the offer, who is mighty homesick. She's from Oregon and this is her first time being so far from home and family. Needless to say she's not just missing her loved ones but enduring the culture shock JT and I still go through daily here. It's not so bad for me missing family because I've been far from them multiple times before this (although being away while trying to have a little one is an interesting new twist) but I'm with this gal when it comes to being here specifically, as opposed to home: home is MUCH better. Bike lanes! Coffee shops! No sales tax! Seasons! 40 different kinds of rain! (okay, I could do with less than 40 but only having 1 kind is pretty hard when it rains almost every day here and it's POURING. Never sprinkling, drizzling, light and heavy intermixed...no. Always pouring and completely unpredictable).

Anyway, that's where we're at right now. I'm off to write up that chore chart I've been meaning to make for ages (and JT has pestered me about) and...I don't know what else. Long day for me, JT won't be home until late because he's finishing up with the sheet rock and I think possibly the flooring tonight at church.