Letters and Books

Anyone that knows me understands that I'm a person who gets very upset and angry when others are closeminded about the opinions that people have a right to. You can't MAKE someone agree with you simply because you think they're wrong. But apparently I'm hitting this problem once again.

I was in a Military Wife Pen Pal swap. This was before JT went to MEPs so I was just beginning to hurt from all the frustrations and questions unanswered that people STILL refuse to answer (goodness knows how many round about ways to avoid the questions I've heard so far...if only I had a nickel...). Anyway, I wrote a letter to both my partners expressing my frustration and anger at the whole organization for lying and keeping secrets as a means to encourage/sugar coat the lifestyle you have to live as a military member. One of my partners said she would write back and today I got her letter. Let's just say it was less than helpful.

First she tells me that yes, I'm right to be angry because recruiters do lie and it's not fair to those of us who are truly concerned when we're not even made awares as to the real work our spouses will be doing. But then it gets very accusing.

Apparently I'm a thankless b*tch for arguing with JT and asking him to find a different solution. She pretty much says that anybody who doesn't support her man, especially one who is risking their life, should go to jail because obviously I don't care about my freedoms. And that I should be eternally grateful to him for doing all this hard work for me. Then, of course, there's the famous statement (again, if you know me you KNOW I hate this statement as well as why): What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

Last time I checked I'm trying to learn everything I can about this military stuff so that once/if we really do go through with this I will know what to expect and what to do. On top of that, I DO support JT!!! That's why I'm encouraging him to find a different path. The fact that he told me he in no way agrees with all the crap the military does and that he's only doing this to get us on our feet tells me this isn't what he wants to do with his life, even if it is for 6 years. So it would be wrong of me to encourage him to go through with this without him first searching to see if he can find a way he would enjoy to get our life together. On top of that, I SUPPORT our troops. What I DON'T support is the way the government treats them and their families, which is what I'm against with this whole thing. Oh, and let's not forget how he's working for me. JT knows full well that I would have no problem being the breadwinner if he wanted me to be. Heck, the only reason I don't have a job right now is because things are too up in the air and he'd rather I stay home and sort out the financials/packing/figuring out the system than stress over a job I may only have for a few months (please keep in mind that I'm applying for seasonal jobs at the moment). It really bothers me that people STILL think that only men can bring home the bacon.

Does this woman have a right to be angry at me? Yes, she does. She has friends in the service although based on this letter it sounds like she, herself has never been in the system at all (which begs to question who she is to judge me on all this stuff she's never personally gone through). But to call me names and tell me I'm a horrible person for being upset and not understanding what's going on because no one will give me answers is uncalled for. Instead of giving me grief why not give me answers so I can start to understand? THIS is why I keep getting upset and angry. People keep telling me I'm horrible and some have even dared to say my husband should never have married me but none of them are willing to give me the information I need that might change my mind. That tells me that I'm probably right and that this isn't for us.

On top of that, I've been through enough crap in my life and I don't dare knowingly put myself in yet another situation that will push me over the edge. I'm strong enough as it is to know that this is NOT going to work for me, dang it.

As for my book...oh my. It's called Today's Military Wife 2nd Edition, published in 1992. I swear this chic was paid by the Department of Defense to write this book because she's WAY too hunky-dory saying that everything is perfectly okay when husbands are deployed and that the military cares sooooo much about the families that they're willing to bend over backwards. Um...okay, thankfully JT has probably one of the only decent recruiters out there because he admitted that most of the military only cares about whether or not you're doing your job. That doesn't sound like the family friendly organization this woman is writing about. And how is everything perfectly okay when deployment has happened when men and women are risking their lives? To say you shouldn't worry is ridiculous and selfish. I hate to break it to this gal but I CARE and would WORRY like crazy every second that he's gone, especially since we're still at war, because you never know what real danger those troops are in.

So today has been filled with frustration concerning the Navy. Once again I'm seeing more examples of the bad than the good. I am BEGGING to find the good in all this. Those people who really do care, the programs that'll help YOU, not themselves but advertise it as being good for you. I would love to hear from someone who has dealt with all my frustrations and concerns and can say "Yes, I've had those too. Now here's the truth and what you need to know to survive." I'm so so soooo tired of only finding the extreme Republican war lovers who do nothing but criticize me for ever doubting the system and avoiding my questions just to shove crap in my face for being "a bad American." (Not to say that Democrats don't do that too. It's just that most of the people who've done this crap to me tell me flat out they're Republicans...though I STILL don't know why they feel the need to tell me that.)

*Sigh* When am I gonna find someone real and down to earth to talk to about all of this? I would love to get answers from a real human not some robot programmed by propaganda.