Relief

It feels so good to be home.

I thought I'd have second doubts and that I'd panic. I truly thought that maybe, just maybe, I'd cry. But not at all. As we were leaving I felt so much peace about it. While I was sad to say goodbye to the awesome friends I made in just a few short weeks I wasn't so upset as to even tear up. Some of them I know I'll for sure see again, such as the girl who literally lives down the road about 20 minutes and another girl who lives in Corvallis and wants to go on a double date sometime. I know I'll see Angel again of course, and we're already talking about going on a hike around Silver Falls sometime. I'm hoping I get to go back up and visit because there are still places in Seattle I really want to see. I just don't want to live there again, at least not right now.

Driving down felt wonderful. I never looked back, never paused to think that I was missing out, never felt any stress (which is huge for me because I stress about everything). Coming into Portland was like a parade of familiarity welcoming me back.

So now I am here, sitting in the chair in the living room with my laptop. I helped create the month's dinner menu (something new they're trying and apparently I came "just in time" to help hehehe). JT and I have talked and this month we're going to focus on getting back to church, figuring out his career, and helping me untangle the knot of my life and slowly pull the strands apart to see which one leads to a future. Church will be interesting because we need to find one that has a strong community of people our age and has service on Sunday evenings or Saturdays because JT can't always go on Sunday mornings. He's going to talk to his uncle within the next week or two (coordinating schedules between those two is going to be interesting to watch) about how he should go around trying to be an electrician apprentice. As for me, I'm going to start learning how to drive again, I'll probably apply to school but I'm not going to jump the gun and say I'm going until I know for sure it's what I want and what would be best for us, I'm going to try to get a job if that's possible (transportation = limited). We'll just see where this all takes us. We're hoping that by fall we'll have our own place or at least a good start on saving up to get a place and that we'll at least either be working in a career as opposed to a job or doing something that'll get us where we want to be in the future, whether that be through school or volunteer work or starting a family (snort! As if THAT will happen anytime soon hahahaha!!! well...maybe it will for furbabies hehehehehehe!).